Best things in life
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Can he willingly risk his life in the service of some higher value or goal? This skill — the ability to let go of control when one wants it most — is one of the most important skills anyone can develop.
And not just for SEAL training. Most people assume the relationship between effort and reward is one-to-one. We think that working twice as long will produce twice the results.
That caring about a relationship twice as much will make everyone feel twice as loved. That yelling your point twice as loud will make you twice as right.
But allow me to inform you — as someone who just tried drinking twice the normal amount of Red Bull so he could finish editing this damn thing — this is almost never true.
Most of the world does not exist on a linear curve. Linear relationships only exist for mindless, rote, repetitive tasks — driving a car, filling out reams of paperwork, cleaning the bathroom, etc.
In all of these cases, doing something for two hours will double the output of doing it for one hour.
Diminishing returns means that the more you experience something, the less rewarding it becomes. The classic example is money. The concept of diminishing returns applies to most experiences that are complex and novel.
The number of showers you take in a day; the number of chicken wings you inhale during happy hour; the number of trips home to visit your mother in a year — these are all experiences that start out highly valuable at first but then diminish in value the more frequently you do them sorry, Mom.
Everything after that suffers severe diminished returns, to the point where the difference between working for 12 hours and 16 hours is basically nothing not counting sleep deprivation.
Friendships operate on a diminishing returns curve. Having one friend is vital. Having two is clearly better than one.
But having 10 instead of 9 changes little in your life. Sex has diminishing returns, as does eating, sleeping, drinking alcohol , working out at the gym, reading books , taking vacations, hiring employees, consuming caffeine, saving for retirement , scheduling business meetings, studying for an exam, masturbating, staying up late to play video games — the examples are endless.
All give back less the more you do them, the more you try, or the more you have. All operate on a diminishing returns curve. Drown-proofing exists on an inverted curve.
The more effort you put into rising to the surface, the more likely you will be to fail at it. Similarly, the more you want to breathe, the more likely you are to choke on a bunch of chlorinated piss water.
Who gives a shit about inverted curves? But the few things that do are extremely important. In fact, I will argue that the most important experiences and goals in life all exist on an inverted curve.
Effort and reward have a linear relationship when the action is mindless and simple. Effort and reward have a diminishing returns relationship when the action is complex and multivariate.
But when the action becomes purely psychological—an experience that exists solely within our own consciousness—the relationship between effort and reward becomes inverted.
Pursuing happiness takes you further away from it. Attempts at greater emotional control only remove us from it. The desire for greater freedom is often what causes us to feel trapped.
The need to be loved and accepted prevents us from loving and accepting ourselves. Proficiency and results come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity.
The most fundamental components of our psychology are paradoxical. But this extends to most — if not all — aspects of our mental health and relationships:.
These internal, psychological experiences exist on an inverted curve because they are both the cause and the effect of the same thing: When you desire happiness, your mind is simultaneously the thing that is desiring and the target of its own desires.
When it comes to these lofty, abstract, existential goals, our minds are like a dog who, after a lifetime of successfully chasing and catching various small creatures, has turned and decided to exact that same strategy on its own tail.
To the dog, this seems logical. After all, chasing has led her to catch everything else in her doggy life. Why not her tail, too?
But a dog can never catch her own tail. The more she chases, the more her tail seems to run away. The goal is to take your mind — a wonderful thing that has spent its life learning to chase various creatures — and teach it to stop chasing its own tail.
Locals enjoy their alfresco feasts along the quieter stretches west of the Peace Statue. Find shelter from the wind behind a sea groin or just beneath the promenade wall.
The ride lasts 20 minutes and offers views over gardens, church spires and genteel Regency squares before spiralling towards the Downs and Beachy Head.
Look for SkyDining on the website for further details. You can also try beach volleyball here; otherwise expect a return journey to last around 30 minutes.
A refresh has breathed new life into those polychrome arches and enormous fish tanks. Turning up on the door can prove very expensive so it pays to plan ahead.
Online booking allows you to find reasonable family deals in advance. And budding marine biologists should check out the behind-the-scene tours with the aquarium experts.
See how many you can spot. Pitch and putt among life size day-glow dinosaurs while soaking up some cool local artwork. Buses 7 and 47 run from central Brighton to the Marina.
Allow an hour to complete the courses. It it was here, in a suburban garden in Hove, that the first ever blue movie was shot.
Located about six miles east of Brighton and easily accessible by train, Lewes exudes an upmarket yet artsy charm.
Be warned though, the event attracts thousands of visitors. The Dyke itself is a steeply sided gulf gouged from the chalk Downs during the Ice Age.
Fantastic for picnics, roly-poly races, bluebell walks in spring, and far-reaching views across the gentle Weald.
On a windy day, pack a kite, then wander down to Fulking for a slow pint or two at the Shepherd and Dog — pure pub perfection, with beams, local ales and a beer garden.
S tretching three-and-a-half miles from Brighton Marina to Saltdean, The Undercliff Walk was built in the Thirties to provide sea defences for the crumbling chalk cliffs.
Stop at Rottingdean for tea — a village that attracted artists and writers in the late 19th century. We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future.
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Day Trips Lewes Located about six miles east of Brighton and easily accessible by train, Lewes exudes an upmarket yet artsy charm. The Undercliff Walk and Rottingdean S tretching three-and-a-half miles from Brighton Marina to Saltdean, The Undercliff Walk was built in the Thirties to provide sea defences for the crumbling chalk cliffs.
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